The greatest loss

 Without my children, without my legacy, my heart has stopped beating. I am not alive. I merely exist. There is no joy, no laughter, no enthusiasm. There are no dreams for the future. There is no future.

One of the monsters involved with my kids after they were taken, told me, "It gets easier as time passes." I was appalled. Easier? Without my kids??? Why would it get easier? And why is it OK TO KIDNAP MY CHILDREN???

It has never become easier or less painful. It's more the opposite. I rarely smile anymore and when I do it feels forced. I have no desire to learn new things or lay out future plans. I feel dead inside. 

Why would the government do this to me and to my children?? Because of who I am. The evil involved astounds me. That's what this is; pure evil.

Life is a nightmare

11 years since my last post. I dont know what to say. My children are gone, stolen by government agents, evil, corrupt agents. My husband and his nasty family were part of it, too. I did NOTHING wrong. I broke no laws, committed no crimes, and I know why my children were taken. It's because of who I am, not for anything I did. I am no longer a mother. Its as though my kids have died, and all I have left is grief and heartbreak. I am alone, totally alone, poor and still being targeted. I have not seen or heard from my children in 2 years. 

These sick infiltrating freaks took, kidnapped, my kids in 2019. They will not stop until my kids are damaged and/or dead. They might be dead already. Even the school they supposedly attend is involved.

 I know my grandfather was Alexei Romanov. I know who my father was. This is genocide.

The funniest thing...

I was reading this blog from a link someone sent me, and I saw the last entry was in March of this year. I was thinking, I wonder what happened to the writer, when suddenly it occurred to me - this is MY BLOG! What a dummy. Arg! Honestly, I'd forgotten all about this place, due to the chaos that is my life. Let me try a quick update: My husband found another job in May, and it's a local job. The pay is 25% less than he was making, but the fact he is local and not gone all week is worth it! We did end up getting meat rabbits, and we've harvested (such a nice word, don't you think? Better than murder.) and bred them several times in the past year. We also built out one of the small barns into a chicken coop and we now have 15 chickens. Unfortunately, 2 of our chicks ended up being roosters. We're going to have to harvest them because they have shown aggression toward us. :( We also got our garden up and running, complete with garden gate and raised beds, and pathways, and everything that is good. We had an AMAZING produce harvest this past summer. So much so, that my almost 8 year old son and I have decided to start a roadside veggie stand this coming winter and fall. My husband and I built a Quonset greenhouse - a hoop house - so we can grow in the winter. It's 10 feet wide by 24 feet long, and it's almost done. We still need to get the windows installed, and the plastic put up, and then make some interior raised beds, although I may just use pots for awhile. I haven't decided yet. We painted it a bright red with brown trim, to attract bees. I didn't do so well with my no-spend year. I was going along great till about September, and then I don't know what happened. It's my goal to restart my no-spend year in January. So stay tuned!

A lot's happened.

My husband unexpectedly lost his job a little over a week ago. It was a huge blow. We immediately lost our insurance (we'll be buying Cobra), and he had some excellent benefits there. He worked there for seven years, doing quite well for himself. I'm happy we have a savings to fall back on and he is looking for work as if it's a full-time job in itself. I'm surprised he's scheduled for a couple of phone interviews already. I spent $150 on food and household supplies last week. I'll have to spend money on a garden fence if we want our plants to reach maturity, or the animals will get into them. What a boring post.

Been awhile...

We've been crazy busy around here.

We built a raised bed out of cinder blocks my husband picked up for me on Craigslist for free. We reclaimed chicken wire found on the property, for the bottom of the planting bed, to keep our pesky moles out. I need to find a way to deal with the moles, and I'll probably have to buy a trap.

I've been doing extremely well on my no-spend this year. I had a setback a week or so ago, and bought a couple of minor non-needed, but wanted, items. We need to scale back, because the bank may be taking a huge chunk ($1,200) of our money when we lose our dispute against the dealership that didn't fix our truck properly. Crossing fingers and holding my breath that the other dealership gives us the letter we need to fight this charge.

I did buy a bedsheet to use for staging as I try to offload a ton of stuff on ebay. I felt that was a need.

Food

We're planning out our garden and I see Mother Earth News has an online garden planner that looks completely awesome for $25 per year. Need or want? Will it improve out success and output of homegrown goodness? I think likely, but I'm going to think on it some more.

Husband brought home 2 large rabbit carcasses. I had no idea they were so expensive ($9/lb where he got them!), or I would have nixed the idea. However he got them, so we'll cook them up and see how they taste. Husband is very worried the rabbit will taste dry, but I'll do my best to see that doesn't happen. Apparently, the butcher told him that the cosmetic industry is buying up all of the rabbits? Why? That makes no sense, unless it's for testing or for an ingredient. Heh.

Meat Rabbits

I've decided to go ahead with my meat rabbit farming idea. I found a lady selling several hutches (used) at a decent price, so I'm headed out there to take a look today. I really should calculate how many rabbits we would need for a family of 6, note to self. It looks like it would be an easy and positive experience, especially since they are low fat/high protein, and procreate like, well... bunnies! Meat is one part f the budget I'd like to trim down, but more importantly, it's a need for us to know our food intimately, since our food sensitivities are so rampant.

I'm also considering chickens, but we can't eat the eggs. We could sell them though, and eat the chickens. I'm still uncertain of how I would do killing a creature, but if I get lame, maybe I can pay someone to do it for me.

We cut off cable tv. $75/mo saved, and we only meant to have it for a short time anyway. In lieu of tv, we'll have the 'net and Netflix.